said and done
by Astralis
Summary: Lara, and Dean, and what happened after. Tag to "Two Fires", spoilers for that episode and for the series generally.


In the end they find themselves sitting, side by side, in the station house driveway, backs against the ivy covered wall. Lara breathes a deep, shaky breath, and wipes the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand, and wants to run away.

"I love you," Dean says, again.

Lara says, "I know." She traces patterns on the concrete with her fingers because she doesn't know where to look. "I'm sorry about Lachie."

Dean shrugs. "Nothing to be sorry for. I get it."

Minutes pass.

Dean says, "I can't do this job without you."

"Yes, you can."

"You keep me sane, Lara."

And now she looks at him, in the dull gleam of light coming from the station house. "Yeah," she says. "So do you. And if it wasn't for you - " She stops, and swallows, and starts again. "If it wasn't for you I would have lost it a long time ago."

"Lara."

"Dean, don't." Lara looks up at the stars. "Don't make me stay."

"You were made for Rescue, Lara."

"I know."

"Then what are you doing?"

"I don't know."

"That's a bad reason to throw your whole life away."

"It's not much of a life." On impulse, Lara finds Dean's hand, and holds it. "And it definitely won't be much of a life if I kill myself or someone else." Dean's grip on her hand is firm and warm, and five years' worth of denial comes crashing down on Lara's head as his thumb brushes over her skin.

"So what are you going to do?"

Lara's head is somewhere else, focused on breathing and the sudden, intense realisation. "Dunno," she says. It doesn't matter now, because she can walk away from Rescue but she can't walk away from Dean Gallagher, and those two things aren't one and the same.

"I'll miss you."

Lara studies his face, suddenly new and exciting. "You don't have to," she says, without intending to, without quite knowing what she's saying.

"What?"

And she leans forward then, and kisses him long and hard to quell the butterflies in her stomach. "You don't have to miss me," she says again, afterwards, her forehead against his, his breath on her cheek, the world suddenly settled and content.

"Lara," Dean says.

"I do love you," she says. It's almost harder to say than _I want a divorce_, and has more potential to ruin everything, and for a second she wishes she could take it back.

Dean looks away, and then meets her eyes again. "Lara."

"I mean it. It's the only thing I do know." She's being honest, and she might as well keep it up. "It's always been you and me, right from day one."

Dean laughs then, brushing his nose against hers. "You were arguing with Vince, remember, on your first day?"

She remembers. Kid in a diabetic coma trapped in a stormwater drain with rain coming on. She'd been out with Vince when they got the call. "I wanted to go in and get him, Vince said wait for backup, and you were the backup." Three seconds after she met Dean she felt like she'd known him forever, and everything makes sense in retrospect.

"I thought you were pretty hot."

"You too."

"You're right though," Dean says, his fingers brushing her hair back from her face. "You and me."

Lara smiles, like she hasn't in a long, long time, and hugs him close, smelling soap and aftershave, and feeling warm. "This concrete's cold," she says, against his shoulder.

"Mmmm," Dean says, and kisses her cheek, and kisses her on the lips.

Something stills and chills inside her, the thing she's not thinking about. Lara says, without moving, without looking at him, "I'm not very good at this, you know." Cam, and Hamish, and and and.

"Me neither."

"Don't let me hurt you," she says, the sort of thing she usually only says when she's drunk and maudlin, which is a lot, actually, lately.

Dean just says "We're going to make this work," and kisses her again.

He isn't Hamish, and he isn't Cam, and she isn't Nicole or Annika or Zoe, and so maybe he's right and maybe this is what they've both needed for years.

And eventually, in the end, he stands up, and takes her hand, and pulls her to her feet. Lara doesn't let go of his hand and she looks up at the station house, for a moment thinking _I can't walk away from this_. But she can and she has to, and they'll all still be there, Heidi and Michelle and Vince, and Chase and Lachie and Jordan, and one day maybe -

"I love you," she says, again, and it's easier this time, and better, and now that all's said and done she begins to feel giddy, with the sensation of a world set to rights.

Dean's smile is the best thing she's ever seen. "I know."

Lara squeezes his hand. "Come on," she says. "Let's go."


End file.
